Wolf's Out

Just words.

It bothers us that we don’t look in our pictures as we see ourselves in the mirror.

Just like the impression others have from us isn’t like the one we want others to have.

We hide our weaknesses through our strengths, we show little of ourselves.

Remnants of our world.

I can’t can explain if we can say this is the end of our time, as we all hope beyond the seas there are still somewhere that stands as everything used to stand. It is hard to say that civilization totally disappeared , because I want to consider that whatever thing we manage to sustain still holds similarities about our past.  We struggle to survive, nevertheless we keep track of time and me with my spare few time decided to record all the events we are going through. Without time there is no, without history, there is no civilization.

When I was still young, before all that happened, the information overwhelmed us. We had everything and with our phones and computers we are able to record everything; plus we could choose what to know and what not to. Do you want to know about science? Click here! Do you want to know about what the Kardashians did last weekend? Click here! Do you want to know about the war in the Middle East? Click here! Do you want to know more about that hot girl in your classroom? Click here!

I regret all the the time I wasted watching videos of people doing stupid things instead of learning how to threat a wound or repair a radio. Everything was there in the infinite piles of information spread around the servers. We were spoiled and choose to spend our free time watching photos of food, reading about which zodiac signs were compatible with ours. If I just had known, maybe I wouldn’t have enlisted. If I had known maybe I could help more when I was back. If I had know maybe we will be more.

It was too late, I should worry about today. Anyway, I will keep a track of all, as maybe nobody does anymore. It could be a future and they will like to know what happened to learn from our mistakes, at we tried to learn from the ones of our ancestors. I don’t think we could avoid it all. The sickness was inevitable, but the war could have been.

We wondered in the outskirts of a city, scavenging anything useful we could have.  It remind me of my patrolling when I was deployed, but I was more scared back then; I had something to loose. I am not sure about it now. We all knew inside the city there were more chances of finding more of what we needed, but we weren’t that desperate. The risks of infection were high and we hadn’t protection. We travelled light and kept our distance and that is why we were alive.

The more time passed, the more I read and the more I read, the more books I hunted for. My companions found that silly at the beginning, as our bags should supposed to be full of useful things, but as we wondered through the wasteland all of us agreed with time that information was our biggest weapon to survive. We read about all we could find, to learn, to improve, but I would say that also for keeping us sane. Everything around us changed and those who we knew died. There was no instagram to share the landscaped we encountered our facebook to stalk those we saw. The things we did and the people we know were lost together with those servers and with them the splendor of our world.

Could we overcome what was in front of us? Could we stop wondering? I had no answers. What I do know, we grew close to those around us. Even in the pain and suffering we encountered, we saw each other through our own selves and not pretentious profiles or social mask based on what was wrong our right. There were no strains right now and we all showed our true colors, yet it doesn’t imply they were all good. Those evil and corrupt still wondered as we do.

The sickness that appeared wasn’t something new. Many perished in the past due to different kinds of them . The black death chose without discrimination its victims as this virus do. The CEO’s and homeless danced together with death , the same way the Nobles and the peasants did centuries before. The difference, in my opinion, is they knew less and their fear spread , mouth to moth, slower than those viral videos on the internet I saw when it began. The exponential panic and chaos generated from it destroyed everything, including people’s minds. I don’t necessarily think the virus killed everybody, their own fear of death doomed many even before any signs of infection in their bodies. The war didn’t ended because somebody won, it ended because the virus overthrew those in power. Death had always been the true ruler, but grew tired of others making its job as it did many times before. It waited silent and let our own humanity spin the wheel of life, until it got bored and decided to do it on its own.

I don’t fear it as I did when I dig the graves of those infected. It spared me, to see all of it, to reach the point when all the screams became silent, to see when the lights went off. In return for its favor I am

recording  this, so those in the future can understand what it did, so they learn that they aren’t bigger than it and that any power in this world can help you cheat it and they can live plentiful lives and enjoying their time together before it decides to take it away. As I look from the outskirts of the city into its remnants, I don’t see its face. The trees grew higher, the birds sang and even though I was well aware the infection still wondered to streets, the silence was not there anymore. The birds sang, the winds made the plants dance and the stars shinned freely during the night without any light to

stop them . I don’t think death cared about us, as we and the perception of our time were insignificant to it, as life for it was something which will flourish with it along the way existence.

As we left that moment in our car through the empty highway to our shelter. I knew deep in my heart that this wasn’t an end but a new chance to a new beginning. Together, without any of those things that distanced us from each other as they succumbed together with those we left behind.

STORY: Everything changed after that night.

Everything changed after that night. I used to be like everybody else, like any other young man living in a big city. I used to worry about the bills, the girls that don’t text back, the team that never wins a fucking game, and many other things everybody struggles with. I am still that guy? Not really, but I am not doing so different as I may thing I am.

It was the last winter when it happened. I had been fighting with my ex-girlfriend by text messages for hours that day and went straight to the bar after work with my mates, like any other guy would have done. I was a mess, but I really believed I was cool and did all to pretend I was. I was wearing an overpriced shirt, skinny pants and had the haircut I thought attract more women or Mens’Health said it did; what a fucking looser I was.  The truth was, that I was always trying too hard, while dealing with my anxiety, and the best way to do it was getting drunk every time I was out. I was lonely, felt disconnected, and probably upset that the blonde bought I drink wasn’t willing to home with me that night. I walked out, it was foggy and my body was shaking from the cold. I managed to find the closest metro station in my gps, but by the time I was at the entrance the last train was already gone.

I sat at the station, the alcohol was settling down. The next train was coming in 3 hours; it was a weekday. Everything was so typical, and the few other people in the station were only weirdos. If I walked under the shitty weather, it was only 45 minutes if I crossed two parks which by the hour were infested by junkies, gypsies, hobos and all the midnight weirdos that populate the urban jungle. I was tired and was supposed to be at the office early the next morning, I started walking. How was I supposed to know my immature decisions would have turned me in the person I am today? It bugs me, but it was what it was.

As I walked through the street, snow started to cover my coat making my trail more shameful. Was it that all I could get? Where were the bottles of champagne and the nice ride? Where were my cool friends? I was just a simple guy and as any other simple guy I was supposed to accept the reality of life. Settle down, upload pictures of my 3-week vacation in a beach and hoping my friend’s think I am doing cool stuff. Walking in drunk in a snowy night with an empty wallet was not a memorable moment for social media. I knew it and every meter I walked felt as miserable as the homeless guys sleeping in the tents at the park. My hands were frozen and my stomach was craving for food. The park was dirty and I remembered why I never go across it, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. If somebody tried to rob me, I had absolutely nothing to give him. There was trash everywhere and the plants were winter dead. I ignored my surroundings and kept on going, my apartment was no more than a 10 minutes’ walk from the park and I had frozen pizza in the fridge.

I looked down the light snow layer over the walk path, something seemed weird. There were ripped clothes and a bunch of foot marks, all seemed to happen recently as it was not yet covered by the snow. I took off my headphones and started to look around my track.  Everything was silent, I could only hear the wind touching the bushes. I started to walk faster as I went paranoid. It felt somebody was watching me from the bushes, but I was not able to see anybody. By this hour, the park was full of weirdos and I tried to calm down. It is probably some junkies getting high? Or maybe they were planning to rob me? Rob me of what? My coat? I asked myself these questions while nervously wandered through the park.

I started to walk faster as more and more I felt vulnerable, but there was nothing to see in the darkness. My chest felt it was about to explode from the adrenaline despite the absence of any danger. Am I going crazy? I giggled nervously as I finally made it to the closest light pole. The street was just a couple of meters away and it wasn’t snowing anymore. What an idiot you are! I smiled and keep walking.

It was 3:13 a.m.; it wasn’t that early neither that late. I remember that the snowing stopped and, as I turned around to see my trail, all happened in just a blink of an eye. It (now I know maybe it was him , but I prefer to believe that before she changed it was a hot brunette with green eyes to make it sexier and less freaky) jumped to me. I don’t remember its face, since I started to run for my life, like the pussy I was. It wasn’t noisy, it was just fast and the only thing I could see was its yellow eyes and its terrifying size. It was playing with me, it could have killed me in an instant, but I guess it was trying to have some fun with my pathetic ass and it pushed a couple of times and I felt to the snow. I was like those seals which the killer whales play before eating them in those national geographic documentaries. I screamed for help, but it was 3 a.m. in a weekday and it was snowing; of course, nobody was going to notice. It was getting annoyed that I was such a cry baby. Probably because I started praying for my life and crying, it was miserable. It looked at me and made a sound, a one I don’t forget, like if it was telling me to shut the fuck off and let it end my miserable existence. I tried to make a run for my life, but it pounced on me. I grabbed my cellphone and started hitting it with it, a pretty lame idea, but I managed to hit it in the eyes. It started to get mad; I was able to see it. It knocked me to the ground and when it was about to put its teeth in my throat I managed to stop her with my arms, still she bites me many times on them. It was the moment I lost it. Was I going to die like this? All because I missed my train drunk? Is this all I accomplished? To get killed by a rabid animal? No fucking way.

My coat soaked in blood from the bites in my arms. I pushed it away with the energy I had left and once again tried to make a run for it. I reached the end of the park, however I could felt her tracking me. I walked between the cars parked over the street and keep going forward, yet I had no idea where I could reach safety.

Then a miracle happened and I never been so thankful for the weirdos in my city. A guy was about to get his dog out for a shit and as he opened the door to let the little dog out I pushed the door and rushed in. The guy of course panicked, because his dog was loose out.

What the fuck are you doing? – he said while pushing me. He tried to open the door, but I wasn’t letting him. – Don’t even think of it, there is a fucking MONSTER outside. – I hold on the door and kicked him away. The dog was outside the door barking like the typical hyperactive little dog it was. What is wrong with you man? Are you on something? Fucking weirdo! – He screamed as he tried to push me away from the door. My arm started hurting like hell and that thing was still outside. – Look at my fucking arm dude, that animal almost killed me. I am trying to save both our lives and by the way I am not the one taking my dog out for a walk at 3 am while snowing. You are the weirdo here! – I answered as I waved my arm with the sleeve covered in red. The guy bought it, and didn’t try to push me anymore.  But, what about my dog?! We need to call the police! – He was confused. We both looked at the dog, it was standing outside the door barking and suddenly it was begging to get in. – Okay, okay. let’s get the dog inside, but we need to be careful. – I told him as I looked through the door. The thing was nowhere to be seen and after arguing for a minute more, we decided to open the door. I slowly opened the door until the opening was big enough to the little dog. The stupid dog was not moving after all the scandal. I always thought dogs had a sense for this kind if shit, but maybe pugs are just the stupidest dogs in the planet. The dog finally decided to get in and as it put its paws inside, the thing jumped from nowhere and grabbed it; the dog was fucking gone. WHAT THE FUCK!? Puppy!? – The guy panicked as we both saw how that thing just destroyed the poor dog in a matter of seconds before our eyes.  We closed the door and hold into it, the guy was crying and, to be honest, me too.  The thing started to hit the door with its paws and for the first time I saw it. It was like a huge bear, but slimmer with a wolf like face. It was of a greyish color with or that I saw at that moment, I am pretty sure what is it today.

The guy and me screamed for help and the lights in the corridor started to light as the neighbors started opening the doors. WE ARE GOING TO FUCKING DIE! – The guy screamed while we both put all our effort to hold the door. I heard the door cracking, maybe we were actually going to die. I closed my eyes and hold to the door; my arm was going numb due to the scratch wounds and I had no more energy. As we stand there screaming for our lives, people of the building started to show up. I opened my eyes and the thing was gone. Only some pieces and blood of what looked like the dog were lying in front of the door. My dog! It killed my little dog! – The guy screamed as we looked outside. By the death of a little pug my life was saved.

The police came and we explained what happened, but nobody believed us. They thought we were hallucinating and that we were responsible for what happened. After a night in the hospital, a vaccine for rabies, and stitches, we had to paid for the damages. The guy and me never spoke again, yet I think, in a very weird way, own him my life. With my phone broken, my favorite coat destroyed and with some quite fucked-up scars, I decided to go on with my usual doings. I wasn’t able to explain at that time what happened even when I went to bed I couldn’t get that thing out of my head, still I tried to pretend it never happened and that it will not change anything or so I believed.

Story: Something in this night. Part 1

It was dark as I looked from my window. The people kept moving and the cars were noisy. I scrolled through my social media: dinners, afterworks, friends, family, cats, political statements, and publicity. My phone kept ringing, my group chats flooded with notifications. I sat in front of my computer, frozen, silent, wondering about the night to come,   wondering about what is gonna happen. I grew anxious, as any other weekend night.

It has been been two weeks since I had sex, its  been thirteen weeks since I left home, its been 730 days since the last time I felt in love. It was 3 hours before midnight, my lips were dry, and my head feel like it was about to explode. I left, in a haste. I walked outside, it was cold. What I am going to do?  What I am expecting? I asked myself. I walked down Götgatan, crossing the junkies getting drunk.  I passed two hipster girls who looked at me and smile. My cheeks were freezing, my mind was lost, and my anxiety started to settle down as I walked down to the subway station.

What is going to be? Is it going to be another night? Is it going to be nothing? Like every other night, like every fucking time? I rushed into the trains as the doors were about to close. I saw myself at the reflection in the window as the train went into the darkness of the tunnel. What is this night unless I do something?

I turned around, my phone rang again: My friends wanted to meet and I had to pretend that I am having a great time; like any other fucking night. I fixed my hair in the windows reflection just before the train stopped. Or maybe something will happen?  Is it gonna be different to any other place or any other time? I resisted my thoughts and walked outside, fast. It started snowing as I walked through the street, my lips were dry.

I arrived to the place. I met my friends. The music was loud and I grew thirsty. I trembled, a cold sensation ran through my back, and my hands felt warm.

As I walked through the crowd, my senses felt sharper. Could maybe something happen or is it going to be just boring? I walked outside and lighted a cigarette.

The dark cloudy sky cleared out as I stood in the smoking area.

Is it full moon tonight? – A brunette with blue eyes asked me while approaching me.

It is gonna be something, I guess – I answered as I smiled and the moon shined through my contact lenses.

What do you mean? – asked the brunette confused as I stood facing here.

That it is not going to be like any other night – I answered. – Do you want to have a drink? It is on me – I said, as I started to walk inside.

Mmm.. sure, why not? – She told me as she walked next to me back inside.


In other news:  A middle-aged woman was found dead near the bridge in the middle of djurgarden. The police stated the probable cause of death may be of blood loss due to injuries suffered by an attack of a wild animal, most likely a wolf. The process of identifying the victim is underway as the injuries made harder for recognition, a forensic dental examination may be needed; stated the police department in their twitter account . Animal Control authorities have been notified and the visitors of the park have been warned of wild animals during the nigh inside the park premises.


Spooky? Hope you enjoy it, its been a while I don’t try creating stories. Back in the track.

Expat limbo in Stockholm.

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Expats hanging out with expats.As always

 

Many of us decided,  by several and different reasons, to move to Stockholm. A new city, new people, new job/studies, new colleagues, and, for those single, new chances to fall in love or at least get laid.

After spending 6 months in Stockholm and making new friends, learning swedish, and understanding the swedish social dynamics; I realised many expats don’t really hang out with swedish people at all and they end up dating/banging each other for the same reasons. Is it a language barrier? Everybody in Sweden speaks well the english language. Cultural differences? Well, you aren’t just changing to a new neighbourhood, you did it to a new fucking country; you were expecting them.  Then, why is so difficult for expats to connect to the swedes? I’ll try to explain based on my own experience

1. There is simply too many internationals and internationals activities. You are new in town, you don’t have a lot of friends, and you see an event on facebook about “welcome to Stockholm-whatever-party”. Of course you will take your ass there right? But swedes don’t go to those kind of events, so you met new expats, and start hanging out with them. One moment and realize that you don’t really have close swedish friends, I  heard that story too many times now. Expats communities are big and it is very comfortable to speak english/your own language.

2. It requires effort to get into a swedish social circle. I don’t think its easy in any country to enter a social circle of people whom have known each other for a while and specially  if you don’t speak the native tongue. Don’t get me wrong, swedish people are friendly, nevertheless to actually start hanging out with them you need to push a little at the beginning; specially in Stockholm. Many expats don’t really do that. As an international student in my class I see it all the time. The swedes do something during the lunch and the internationals other thing, but it isn’t really hard just to ask them to have lunch together right?  It doesn’t happen, don’t ask me why.

The consequences: 

You will never actually understand swedish society and you will never will be able to improve your swedish speaking skills. If you are a student your networking in Sweden will probably been non-existing or very limited for building a career in Sweden. Worst of all you will probably get to date a sweden, yeah for some people is that critical haha.

 What can you do about it?

Try to get closer to the swedish people in your work/classes. They will probably will not start, but they will most likely respond.

Learn swedish. Make a little effort, it will change everything for the better.

Avoid expats/erasmus whatever parties.  There are a lot of better things to do and a lot of parties you can actually attend, just make your research. I am not saying stay away from them totally, but be aware that there are many other things to do.

 

 

An Express Touristic Guide to Stockholm + Top Scenic views

As many European cities, Stockholm attracts hundreds of tourists every year and there are tons of things that people and sites tell you to do. For my point of view Stockholm is not as touristic as other european capitals, nevertheless there are a couple of things worth a visit or if you want that cool photo to put it in your social media. This lists will point them:

  1. Gamla stan: Or old town, is one of the oldest well preserved medieval cities in Europe. Full of small streets and alleys, feels like going back in time.  During the summer or the winter, this city is the main attraction in Stockholm. Is full of restaurants, giftshops, and bars.
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Gamla Stan

2. The Royal Palace: It is the official residence of His Majesty the King of Sweden, with over 600 rooms. You can visit the inside as well some of the lower leves, which contain several museums. My personal favorite: The Armory, which contains clothing,weapons ,and armors from the wars the swedish kings waved in the past. You can try a medieval armor for fun too.

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An aerial view of the Royal Palace.

This two attractions are located in the island of Stadsholmen. Easy access by the subway in the station of Gamla Stan. In this island you can also find some churches, the Alfred Novel Museum and the Swedish Parliament. If you are interested in those you can take a peak, but as this is express, I think you are good without them.

3. Skansen: It is considered the first open-air museum. It is supposed to show the way of life of different parts of Sweden by its architecture. At the same time it is a zoo with different animals which habit Scandinavia.

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4. Vasa Museum: It contains the Vasa chip which capsized in the bay of Stockholm in 1633. It was salvaged in the 60’s. It is the only well preserved 17th century warship. It is 69m and was armed with 64 cannons. Worth a visit, it is considered the most visited museum in Scandinavia.

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5.  Stockholm’s city Hall: The city’s symbol and the place were the Nobel Prize Ceremony is carried out. Worth a photo for your instagram.

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Pretty huh?

Other honorable mentions are: The photography museum and the museum of modern art. And if you are a hardcore fan, probably the ABBA museum.

For the best views of the city and totally for free I’ll recommend the next spots. 

Get down in Slussen and walk to this point, it is easy to spot.

You will get this:

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Instamoment Bitch

For another good spot, and if you are rolling with a girl/guy to open a bottle of wine. Get down in Mariatorget and walk to this place.

It looks like this.

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First base granted my friend.

There are so more places to go, but with this bunch you can pretty much say that you saw Stockholm touristic side. Enjoy your time around and please don’t use a lot of selfie sticks!

Hallå Sverige!

After spending a lot of time in my corporate job, I decided to change the way my life was going and look for a different career path. No, I am not talking about leaving my life and travel as a hippie bump around third world countries like a lot of folks do. I decided to go “green” in my career  and moved to the other side of the world for studies and that is how I ended up moving to Stockholm.

Why Sweden? I used to have a fascination for Scandinavian culture when I was a young kid, reading about the cold north and its vikings, but that wouldn’t be a good excuse as the modern swede is usually a leftist, politically correct modern man quite different of its ancestors. Sweden is considered the leader in green technologies; as for environmental engineering is one of the best countries in Europe for a degree, the quality of life is high, and the work benefits huge, …and why not say it open; Swedish women are famously consider to be beautiful.  I packed my clothes, my game ,and my passport; took the plane to the land of Alfred Nobel, Abba and the one Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

I  was in the other side of the world again; this time older and with a different perspective of  life; for those reasons I decided to start again here in this corner of the internet.

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Stockholm view form Södermalm Island

Time goes on

Time flies. Memories and People you met in the way along with it.

I decided to talk a little bit about my trips and thoughts I had along the way after moving back to my home country  last Month. I see my life with a different point of view and wanted to share my experiences form the past,present, and future.

The exposition of Mondrian in Neues Staatgallerie, Stuttgart, Germany, March 2013